If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
