We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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