from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
