a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize