dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
