I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
