also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
