Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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