It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
