Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
