Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
