if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
