now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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