Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need to sanitize my soul.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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