eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
