I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
