i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
