quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
