You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
