You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
