there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
