Jerry, you need to find god
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
