Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
