you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
