this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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