Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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