everyone is single if you try hard enough
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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