i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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