i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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