At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
