Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
