No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
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