After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
