dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
