if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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