But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
