i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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