you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
