YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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