did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
