But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
