Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
