So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
