You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
