I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
now i know why i became what i already was.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
