It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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