I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
