When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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