Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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