Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just puked most of my soul out..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
