After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
